1. My dog is licking my foot as I type. I find this indescribably disgusting, yet I don't stop her.
2. My 11-year-old has taken to blurting out the following statement in a kind of Tourettes-type bark: "We don't want Medda-care, we want Bedda-care!" I'm afraid she learned this when channel surfing the Fox News lineup. I weep for us all.
3. This afternoon, someone introduced me to the Toddlers in Tiaras girl who drinks Mt. Dew laced with Red Bull before pageants. You can't unsee that.
4. My 7-year-old asked that question that all 7-year-old girls eventually ask: "Mom, what's a period?" I mean, you know it's coming, but you're never really prepared, are you?
5. Read the following analogy in a book today, and cracked up: "The Lotto is a tax on people who are bad at math." Soooo true.